musik: k's choice - alles was auf dem pc ist
feelings: naja, also mir ging's schon mal besser...
heya, das komplizierte mädchen is mal wieder hier und schreibt dieses mal dann auch mal wieder was! I guess I better change the language...
Just can't seem to have a good opportunity or chance - and it's just like sarah says in one of her beautiful songs: in every house in every room someone's always waiting to be heard (...sitting on my big behind I am hardly rescuing the world...when u see this side don't let me drag u down, when u feel this weight don't let me drag u down, I need u to turn me upside down...continue's caused by the love I feel for the lyrics
) - I realized I'm not even able to write short, sweet letters by using my homelanguage - just can hope it'll change when I get older, but at the moment I don't feel like a change or practising to express my feelings by using "german"! I got used to it and I don't have the will to use my usual language - and I'm almost sure my german-grate will be just okay like everytime: a great c, which I hate, but I'm not willing to work hard to get better and anyway I don't see HOW I could work - so I made the decision to do the first LK in math, and the third AF in english - the other two AF's (one of them will be the second LK) are unclear to me at the moment, but I guess in the end of the 11 I will know what to choose! I feel so dozy - I want to do everything right, but, to be true, I'm afraid to do anything, that's why everything feels so wrong - now, first time I'm getting a bit activ(e)again, everything feels like (a) false again - well, I guess I have to try before I can say "uh, it went so dumb" - I hope I will! It's weird - I can't write an english letter, right? What if I do even if it's weird? Would everyone think I'm off my trolley? Does it matter? I guess it matters anyhow, because you wouldn't write the letter, if it's all the same to you that the person being adressed may thinks you're insane after reading
no you wouldn't - that's why I just can hope I will be understood and noone will think "my godness, how crazy, a german girl writes an english letter to someone being german aswell - don't you think the writer's a little bit confused or something like that?" *lol* Did I say I'm not? Well, I've always been a bit "ballaballa" so what's the point of discussing? None!
That's it for today - and maybe that's it for the next whole week
you'll never know (never know BEFORE I mean)