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Gratis bloggen bei


music: by chance again same singer
feelings: well...stressed, but I try not to care

hey everybody,
it really has been a long time! I turned seventeen finally (I hope you can say "to turn seventeen" *lol*) and school stresses me to death - äh - I know there are still 3 years in front of me - and it's really hard - but I have to manage that! And school's also my very plausible reason why it's been this long since my last entry! As I told you already in my last entry I chose a course making me stay the afternoon at school twice a week, and now I have to be at school
on monday from 7:50 - 16:00 (the last three lessons include going by bus and railway but I'm never home at 4 o'clock! I'm at the main bus station at 4 - which means I come home at about half past 4 pm),
tuesday is my relaxing day from about 9:40-13:10,
wednesday works the same as monday,
thursday I have school from 7:50-13:10 (my normal-day - and by the way: I hated having those "normal-days" when I was in the 10th and now I'm more than grateful they are still present somewhere ) and
on friday school starts also at 7:50 and ends at about 3 o'clock - and I've got quite a lot homework to do every day!
Honestly: the only thing I do except for having school and learning is playing my beautiful acoustic guitar (got one for birthday: I LOVE MY NEW GUITAR!!!) - and because I'm always very tired I try to get sleep as early as possible (mostly about half past 10), which shortens my day (as if I wouldn't need more time anyway...)
And I still didn't clear my mind in terms of Kika! AAAH - I want to be content, right? I am - almost - but I will always be - almost - if I don't find out what would have happened if I only talked to her...
Well, it's always the same...

To Bella:
Oooooh, I wish you will appreciate the concert and finally get a fan :D I wish I could be there, too muuuch fun :D

Greets to everybody reading this!
Yours Anne
6.9.06 22:09


this is my vietnam

music: P!NK - Missunderstood
feelings: sick

Even though I have to go soon (I'm going to have booring guitar-lesson today -> I will change the cours!!!), I want to write a short entry - at the moment I really really love P!NK!!! She's too great and I'm gonna see her in october :D yeeeah :D I feel bit confused and that's what makes my sickness and the school-stress even harder! But I know that I am willing to do this last three years of school - and I'm looking forward to writing this stupid german-exam, because I'm hoping that afterwards my really brilliant, but german teacher, will quit this fuckin' interpretation-thing! I hate to write interpretations! And I'm sure I will write a C ... I always write C's in german - even if I practise and do and think and spend time on the tasks I hate most, I always seem to forget or simply don't see the main-point(s) - and I really spend a lot of time on doing my homework for german-lesson...I guess I should rather say "I don't care" and enjoy my lovely english- and math-lesson, right? But I'm to ambitious to relax...because I know I can get a B if I work hard...and grades are more important than ever to me (except for latin -> If I have a D in the end, I'll have *lol* who cares??? It's just my "latinum")
Yesterday I wrote my first french-exam ... it worked! I think I did well ... but I think it's a pity that I only know somewhat of this language! I wanted to write things I never got taught so far ... so I couldn't ... I felt helpless *lol* but this will change, because my time has come *lol*
well ok, this isn't too short...
but hey, I quit!
Goodbye, au revoir or simply salut
14.9.06 17:54


music: pink
feelings: I feel like a piece of shit - or I think I do (even though I don't really know how a piece of shit feels)

I've got the feelings as though everyone around me and everyone being important or unimportant to me has a life - a real life - occasionally something interesting happens - people seem to smile - they know what they're going to do this evening - they're resolving to watch this or that on saturday - they have someone they need - they have a lover - they have fun - not all the time of course, but they do - their life is not fullfilling but things are happening!
But when I look at my life objectively I don't see any of this! I keep constantly dreaming my life - always hoping that something happens that's able to change my life - willing for something to happen - trying to move all the time - but I can't seem to get further! My life isn't only boring! It's also sad...sooo sad (I'm sorry for my "I feel so sorry for myself"-phase, but it's just floating) - I really try to see the sense of my life inside of me, because I'm the only one except for my family who's at my side - and I guess I almost do - but I'm not happy! I know that I need someone! Or I need friends - real friends! But especially a seventeen year old girl needs "someone", finally, somewhere, NOW! Someone should kick my ass, I guess! But there's nobody in this world who cares enough to kick my ass - and even if someone kicked my ass, there's no guarantee for things to work well - why would they? I don't even know who you are so why would I be so sure who you are? My goodness - I should quit this - this makes me even more depressive...

(photo credit: Candace Hope)
15.9.06 19:14

Für dich ist es einfach, weil es einfach ist für dich...

music: glashaus - drei (troi, three, 3)
feelings: janz okeee

Ja, meine Stimmung geht wieder etwas nach oben - oder sie tendiert nach oben - werd morgen zu dem Basketballspiel gehen von der Mannschaft hier gegenden Remscheider SV

Das hebt meine Stimmung und der Fakt, dass ich endlich ein Lied geschrieben habe, dass ich echt toll finde und das Beste ist : das Lied ist noch nicht mal ganz fertig - ich habe das Gefühl da kann noch ganz viel Power rein und noch ganz viel toller Text und so tolle Sätze wie "I am not entirely insane - at least not yet", die würden da noch irgendwo reinpassen - aber naja, die Möglichkeit solche Texte zu schreiben, wie ich es letztes Jahr sehr oft gemacht habe, als mein Herz noch zerrissen war wegen Jenny, solche kann ich leider heute nicht mehr schreiben, habe ich bemerkt - oder zumindest habe ich es lange, sehr lange, nicht mehr getan! Alles ist englisch geworden, das ich tue - und ich liebe diesen Fakt! Ich muss auch andauernt die Nomen nachträglich capitalyzen *lol* ich denke da einfach nicht mehr dran - ich glaube zwar, dass mein sprachlicher Deutsch-Kenntnisse-Rückgang noch nicht ganz so extremst ausgeprägt sein kann, wie der von Bella (weil du sprichst ja den ganzen Tag kein deutsch und ich spreche hauptsächlich mit mir selbst englisch ), aber so sehr stören tut mich das eh nicht mehr - irgendwie - *lol*. Ich weiß noch, als ich 13 war und 14, da hab ich geschrieben, ganz viel und ich finde auch sehr tolle Sachen, ich wollte Autorin werden - ja so können sich die Wünsche ändern! Autorin sein find ich immer noch etwas Schönes, aber auf keinen fall kann ich in deutsch schreiben! Ich will es nicht mehr, kann es nicht mehr ; natürlich kann ich das noch, es fällt zu formulieren im Deutschen, aber es stellt mich nicht mehr zufrieden! So ein oder zweimal im Monat schreibe ich auch schonmal nochmal in deutsch, aber das witzige ist: Das ist ne Ausnahme *lol*
Naja, genug über mich geredet!
Wünsch euch auch einen schönen Tag morgen, denn ich werde jemanden ENDLICH wieder sehen!
Am "samedi matin" - obowhl eigentlich eher am "l'apres-midi" *lol*
Goodbye oder auch "Tschüüss"
22.9.06 20:37

Juhu :)

music: anouk - I love this record! somehow (talking about "urban solitude")
feelings: I'm feeling good (or is it well???? fuckin' rules)!

Yeah, we won - or they won! They won 74 : 50 :D It's been a hard match, as far as I can make a judgement with my less knowledge about basketball but my team turned the tide in the second two quarters and in the end they won by a mile :D and I'm sure she noticed there was me watching her...I'm really sure (she = no.9)! But I just went home without waiting next to her car - and my goodness I didn't expect the gymnasium to be THIS small! It's been, if at all, as big as a school-gymnasium *lol* thus one's been able to look right into every single face being in there - that's exact why it was no wonder that she noticed me (there were about 30 people building the tiny audience - including me, first trying not to be seen but in the end giving up hiding *lol* ; it didn't work anyway) But the match really was fun! And now I know a lot more about the sport than I did before! For instance: Now I know when you get 1, 2 or 3 points for a made basket or how long one match lasts and a few things more It was quite interesting, the whole afternoon! And I'm looking forward to the next match :D
That's it, wish you'll have a good afternoon as well
24.9.06 16:58


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